Advice for the Expecting/New Mom

My honeybun

It's been almost 4 months as a new mom and I wanted to offer advice to any other expecting/new moms that might be helpful. If you have any further questions don't hesitate to ask!

1. Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding is HARD. Really hard, at first. You might have sore/bleeding nipples, back pain from weird postures and overall frustration. Also, newborns feed about every 2 hours so expect sleep deprivation. But I promise if you stick with it, it will definitely get easier. Before you leave the hospital try to get as much help as you can with the latch from lactation consultants and use the support resources they offer if you continue to have issues.

Also, get a prescription for a breast pump at the hospital, it is covered under most insurances.What I did in the first month to give the nipples a break if they hurt too much was to pump milk and bottle feed while giving them a chance to heal before retrying nursing. Don't give up!

2. Guilt

Following the first point, if you planned to exclusively breastfeed and it's just not working out, that's OK! Do not feel guilty if you choose to supplement with formula or switch to formula completely. After a month of trying to exclusively breastfeed I chose to supplement with formula. I felt guilty but this allowed me to rest and regain strength and energy to be able to breastfeed more often later on. It's all about balance. You have to take care of yourself in order to better take care of your child, so keep that in mind and talk to the pediatrician if you have concerns or questions. How to feed your child is a personal choice! Don't let others pressure you one way or another.

3. Help

Accept as much help as is offered and don't feel guilty about it. Also, ask for help if you need it! Your partner, family and friends all understand this is a difficult time for you and would LOVE to help you! Having a newborn is hard and it takes a village to raise a child. You're not in this alone and you're not a failure for getting help. As time goes on you'll get better and more comfortable with doing things on your own, but give your self leeway for transitioning to that new role.

4. Judgment

For some reason, others tend to be very judgmental about how you should raise your baby. I want you to take all that judgment and flush it down the toilet. At the end of the day you should trust you and your partner's instincts and not feel inferior or wrong if you're not following what others seem to think is the 'correct' way of doing things.

5. Chores

The priority for you as a new mom is taking care of yourself and the baby. Don't worry about having a clean house or being on top of chores right now. Try to rest as much as possible and focus on getting some breaks to clear your mind and get some "me" time. Take a walk, do some light stretching or read a book.

6. Post partum depression

Pay attention to yourself and how you feel during the first few months after having your baby. If you feel down consistently, hopeless, or anxious then you may have post partum depression (PPD). You can see a list of common symptoms here: Link. Talk to your OB/GYN about concerns you may have about this. PPD is very common and it's nothing to be ashamed of and it does not mean you're weak. Don't be afraid to talk about this with your partner or family. They're there to help and their support will help you get to recovery.

7. Your body

Your body may look and feel very different post-birth compared to pre-pregnancy. You may have gained weight or now have stretch marks that look like Grand Canyon craters. Don't feel bad! It took 9 months to create and give birth to your bundle of joy so give yourself that much time or more to recover and get back into the groove of things. Don't rush into dieting or hard core exercising. You need to heal and eat enough to nourish your baby if you're breastfeeding. This doesn't mean you should eat junk food though. Try to eat healthy foods overall and get in some light exercise like walking or stretching.

8. Clothes

Your baby grows very fast. Don't buy too many newborn clothes because after a couple weeks your baby won't fit anymore. Maybe 3 onesies and 3 undershirts should be good until the next stage.

9. Have fun!

Caring for a child is a lot of work, but it gets easier over time. There is a learning curve and there will be emotional times ahead. However there will also be wonderful moments of cooing and gurgles and smiles that will melt your heart and all the struggling will be worth it!